Hi, it's me again and again…how’s your 2022 life so far?Before 2022 ends, macam biasa I’m going to do a few reflections from the past few months on the hardships, the challenges, and the gains in order for me to find peace.
I would describe 2022 as my ‘SABR YEAR’ or maybe ‘HEAL YEAR’ cliché duh but that was the truth.
Honestly, I went through a huge mental breakdown last year that’s why my first 22’ post was in June. HAHA
Jan-Feb-March
Throughout the first 3 months, I was a bit lost in my own space - where only work tasks & kdrama exist. I tend to avoid social events and would rather stay at home, being a Yaya-the-sleeping-beauty. PKP was demolished by gov so everyone was excited to plan the CNY holiday trip.
At that moment, I asked my mama why not go food hunting at Kelantan and she said, " Yes, let’s go. She knew I was struggling with my own hardships (emotions) and not ready to open up about it. In early March, my family came to JB for a short vacation because one of my Lil brothers had to quarantine at my home after coming from SG. We went food hunting as usual. Nyums
At the end of march, I caught covid for 2nd time. *sedihhh. This part yang aku lemah, sakit quarantine sorang2. Tapi Alhamdulilah, Allah masih lagi bagi another peluang for me to improve myself before the TIME really come. Semoga si Yaya Doe makin kuat.
April-May-June
Tough times - No one can make me believe that true love exists. Fight me. Because most of the time men fell first but women definitely fell harder and then they (men) stopped the chase and start their (men) freaking games. Am I the only one that hopeless in romance? HAHA – wow Yayaaa Duhhh is talking about love huh?
I’m was at the stage where I could hear all the lies that coming from everyone's mouths. However, this person taught me something without talking too much. Like I am a deaf person and he was a mute guy. Somehow his actions attracted my attention and mirrored all the attitudes that I was doing before this. WHO DA FISH R CHUUU. Is this a karmic or self-reflection thingy? I almost wanna cry bcos I was confused and overwhelmed when my anxiety came back stabbing my back without any warning. My hands start shaking again. Everything about that person was like a bunch of 1000 pieces of puzzles yang ada gambar Mecca tuuuuu. *aku agak je gambar mecca*. In my opinion, he tried to pull me out of my space by attracting me with some puzzles. HAHA, every single puzzle piece was so challenging.
I am good at reading people. Fact. But I cannot read this person. How comeeeee??????? Jatuh dari langit ke cik abang???? I just go with the flow dude, walaupun ada some people said if you go with the flow...you gonna flow like a dead fishhhhh in a dungeon tunnel. Yo I’m a walking dead already meh. Fav movie aku genre zombie. Maybe this one boleh jadi movie – Walking Dead in a Dungeon Tunnel and I am the Tuan Director. So, I learned to upgrade my sabar thanks to Mr.Puzzle and I started doing my previous acah aesthetic healthy routine again.
July-Aug-Sept
In July, I learned that self-love is not selfish. I gain my own confidence and stop blaming myself for the past year's traumas. Time will heal everything. In addition, I focus more on my value and tried to find what I love to do. Writing, Baking, Being Plant Mom, Cleaning, Home Workout and the rest is history. Worries less and think positively. My work became my number one priority because I had to take over another department under me and learn new things. Alhamdulilah.
At first, I’m scared because it is one of the problematic departments with lots of work to solve. HUHU ingat girlssss not pain no gain. I need to trust myself and work harder to improve every single day. My shaky hands still going strong sis. LOLS. Also, I caught the flu after coming back from Ganu. Is it Demam Rindu? kuikui
Impian untuk menjadi girl boss with her own success biography book masih lagi ada jauh terpendam nun dihati sana. Or maybe I can switch to impian kedua - be a pilates mommy- after hantar anak pergi daycare- singgah starbies & jaya grocer sebab balik nanti nak masak sesedap for her workaholic husbb. Ouch. Last option, aku boleh jadi General Officer Strategi Pertahanan Negara jaga sempadan Malaysia-Thailand or Laut China Selatan. Jauhh dah tu merapunyaaaa
Oct-Nov-Dec
In October, I went back hometown again to celebrate my mum's birthday. Last year I prayed, if I fully recover from sickness, I will balik kampong every 1-2 months. So this year basically I selalu balik Terengganu. *watch out what you pray girlsss. Selalu doa yang baik-baik tau.
Furthermore, I caught covid for 3rd time in early Nov. HAHA. Joke on me. Out of nowhere, Mr. Puzzle also caught covid19. AT THE SAME TIME as me! Is it a sign or just a funny coincidence?
Besides, I had a MITI exam a week later and Alhamdulillah I passed the exam of Certified Exporter for ATIGA. Apart from this, I had to go back to Ganu in Nov due to GE15, and this time I took a bus. That was my first ever experience mengundi since the last PRU14 I was stuck in UTHM due to FYP. Aku undi siapa? syhhh #undiiturahsia. Hopefully, this time our new government would be clean of corruption, pollution, economic growth and etc
In December, Sam took me to the Batu Layar Desaru for healing camping. Kah I really need that! Early morning dah gerak and as usual I masak mee goreng basah & keropok. Unfortunately, the next day I got eye allergies maybe bcos terciduk air laottt *mengade tauu . 2 weeks tak boleh pakai softlens and it getting worse since this girl degil nak jugak pakai makeup. At the end, I got MC 3 days bcos eye infections for both eyes. Ughhhh. I had to go through the worst-ever experience with an allergy. Certain parts of my body felt so itchy and had rashes. What a day. Mr. Puzzle wants to meet me but sadly we are both busy with our schedules and I am still not in a good state.
Walaupun this year I selalu sakit,
NO PAIN NO GAIN.
Heal. Mission complete. I found my peace! - How I wish I can end the year with it. :’(
With love & Hakuna Matata,
Yaya Doe
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